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Category: Mental wellness

The two pink lines we didn’t want… #mondayblogs #rungirlrun

The two pink lines we didn’t want… #mondayblogs #rungirlrun

Published by Kai on March 21, 2022

Just a quick one this week, as I have had a positive LFT for covid this morning. What this means in all practical terms is I’m more grateful than ever for my vaccines and, in part due to something my partner said this week, I’ve pitched a book about two lines. As in…tests like that. The only others I’ve really encountered were pregnancy ones, and two lines often meant good news. And it hit home this morning. I akways end up with books, but, for now, I have a very unwanted virus, I hope I remain out of hospital, and……

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A 2021 retrospective…a bit late ;) #mondayblogs #yearinreview #lifetheuniverseandakitchensink

A 2021 retrospective…a bit late ;) #mondayblogs #yearinreview #lifetheuniverseandakitchensink

Published by Kai on January 3, 2022

Hi there guys. Normally, doing these, I do really try to get them up either as we’re travelling home on the21st December, but as everyone saw, I posted something else instead. So, I’ll do the retrospective today, and tomorrow we’ll do the ‘coming in 2022’. I got nothing done… I think the first thing to acknowledge is that personal goals wise, I’m not further visibly forward, but I did a lot of…I guess it’s ‘behind the scenes’ work. I did have a quieter, calmer year in some ways. Supporting the kids, supporting my partner, and trying to plan for what…

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When she sing, she sings “Come home” #mondayblogs #rungirlrun

When she sing, she sings “Come home” #mondayblogs #rungirlrun

Published by Kai on December 21, 2021

(Don’t Google that, if you plan to watch Loki, the TV series, as the titular character sings it). I’ve been equal parts restless, equal parts full of wanting to get on with changing things, but not having the energy to do any of it. So, as is my usual tactic, I’m actually travelling today. I’m going home.Tomorrow morning, I’ll be heading to my temple, called Goddess Falls. It’s known as another name in Edinburgh, but I’ll be taking my lightsaber with me in the morning. Travelling, thinking, going home We’re hoping that we get to go (so, either this’ll be…

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What was that whoosh? Oh, November? #mondayblogs #rungirlrun #nanowrimo #ludosport

What was that whoosh? Oh, November? #mondayblogs #rungirlrun #nanowrimo #ludosport

Published by Kai on December 6, 2021

What was that whoosh?Oh, it was November. Wow, ok.So, here’s the roundup, I guess. New hobby! So, normally, the big news in November would be my birthday, or Nanowrimo. But, actually, this year, the big excitement is Ludosport! My beloved and I (yeah, that’d be the guy in ‘a Nanowrimo love story‘) started learning Ludosport, aka Lightsaber duelling. Already though, I know it’s more than that. It’s a whole culture of support, care and honesty, and a really good workout. But it’s accessible too. I’m managing almost as well as the rest of the people training, and that’s even with…

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The last week of * (42) – what is success anyway? #Mondayblogs

The last week of * (42) – what is success anyway? #Mondayblogs

Published by Kai on November 8, 2021

This is 43? Quite honestly, I’m not entirely certain how I feel right now. There are so many different things that I’ve been thinking about. How we measure success. What we consider ‘worthy’ work, when we think about our lives, and how we decide to measure what we’re doing. Like water over rocks, we often smooth away the knowledge we don’t like and find a way to let it settle. And time, like water down a hill, never stops. Judgement – my own worst enemy Self-judgement that is. And I think that’s true of all of us. We’re ALL our…

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A Nanowrimo Love Story #nanowrimo2021 #mondayblogs

A Nanowrimo Love Story #nanowrimo2021 #mondayblogs

Published by Kai on November 1, 2021

I’m not sure if people have much of an idea of my history with Nanowrimo, but I’ve been writing every November since 2003. Every November, I write 50,000 or more words. The only time, to date, that this wasn’t the case was 2004. It started in 2002 actually… In 2002, while I was writing after breaking off ties with someone I’d been working with, and working on some pretty difficult stuff, someone told me about Nanowrimo. At the time, my ex and I were still together, and though everyone thought we were ok – I mean, my daughter was a…

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Two steps back, or gathering strength #Mondayblogs #selfcare #chronicillnessroad under cloudy sky

Two steps back, or gathering strength #Mondayblogs #selfcare #chronicillness

Published by Kai on October 18, 2021

One of the major mindset changes I’ve been trying to work on is not looking at any delays in my life as ‘delays’, and instead look at them as chances to… I guess, design my way around the things that others consider limitations, I guess. Today for example, I’m operating under the influence…of a migraine. Migraines are the bane of my life. Or one of them, at least. I live with several chronic conditions, but migraines are one of the few ones that stop me dead in my tracks. (Authors) living with chronic conditions I’m probably not preaching to the…

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Kintsugi and Levelling up #gamergal #mondayblogs

Kintsugi and Levelling up #gamergal #mondayblogs

Published by Kai on October 4, 2021

So, firstly, I’ve spent the last week with shingles all up one side of my face. It’s not *the most* painful thing I’ve ever felt, but gotta be honest, it’s close. Because of this, my ‘October announcements’ post and this one have kinda rolled up. The pot of my soul, cracked as it is I’ve been talking about ‘levelling up’ a lot on my private groups. I’ve been talking about several things really, but I want to be clear. My major one is community. I talk – a lot – about #payitforward and that the #writingcommunity is very important to…

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Changes, struggling with writing and more…#mondayblogs

Changes, struggling with writing and more…#mondayblogs

Published by Kai on September 27, 2021

I’m on a few weeks of classes, to learn how to work with one of the major systems we’re using right now. I’ll be talking about that more, and I have to say, I’m really excited.The next few weeks are also ‘Freshers’ for me. I start back at Uni next week, and have several exams that I need to prep for. But, I’ve got a few things to talk about… Changes One of the major things I’m noticing is that I’m still as willing to do everything I used to get up to, but I get about three into my…

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In the wastes, on the curvesbird s eye view of roadway surrounded by trees

In the wastes, on the curves

Published by Kai on September 10, 2021

The last few weeks have not been the best for me, but by far and away, the things that hurt the most are, if I’m honest, the way a few friends have reacted to my boundaries. And how, from there, pulling in to defend myself has been ‘abandoning’ them. And how that’s left me with issues with all sorts, from what I do from here to my religious outlook, to how I move on.  I don’t think I’ll address all of it here, it’s a bit complex.  The two bits I want to touch on are boundaries, and being out…

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Depression

Depression

Published by Kai on August 3, 2021

I’ve been on about three false starts for this post, this week. And I’ve tried to write and explain this feeling… this weight for years.It’s odd. I’m a writer. I should be able to explain this. But I’m depressed. It’s a hard time to write in the first place, and then, to write about how sad I am… I guess it makes sense that it’s hard to deal with. Depression just is Believe it or not…this is one of the millions of faces of depression. And it’s mine. That’s me on Saturday, after The UK Games Expo. My daughter and…

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Trying, failing, trying againstack of books on white table

Trying, failing, trying again

Published by Kai on July 5, 2021

After my last post, Is it Though?, I’ve been trying to… plot and plan and think through what to do next.I did mention that I punctuate the phrase ‘if at first you don’t succeed. Try. Try again’, and I got feedback from people asking what I meant by that. So. I thought I’d explain that.And maybe show off some new stuff at the end of the post 😉 If at first you don’t succeed. Try. Try again One of the things that my wonderful psych team (Dr C and MW, my psych nurse) who I was discharged from at the…

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