Once again, I’m doing a couple of AtoZ challenges.
(and I’ve not always completed them, but this year, I’m actually excited for it!
This year, I’ll be doing the AtoZ of my books on Booksbykai, while over here, I’ll be doing the AtoZ of me, and trying to find a few new things to surprise people with that they may not already know about me, or didn’t realise that’s what I meant. Of course, there will be information about Ludosport and music, and mental health, and writing, and other stuff, but I hope there will be some stuff that people don’t know about, and maybe…enjoy and get to know me more.
I’ll be writing a lot of it in my office, and I already know that I’ll be doing at least a couple of live videos to go with them. I’m excited for this. And I’ll be doing Camp Nanowrimo too, though the 2023 announce for *that* is coming later this week!
If you’d like a roundup of both, or are joining in, I’d love to hear from you. Roundups of both will be on my newest site, where I’m trying to pull everything down into a little series of boxes and easy to see what I’m up to. The Kai-DIgest (or Kaigest) will be available from April 1st, but if you’d like to sign up before then, we have a nice little Substack segment on my main newsletter.
If you’re doing the AtoZ this year, comment below, let me know. I’ll be sharing a list of all my visitors before and after the AtoZ this year, and I’m looking forward to making lots of new friends and finding lots of amazing blogs to add to my new reader system!
I’ve spent the last few months trying to work out what I’m going to do with myself. I’m not sure if I mentioned it, but the plan at the beginning of the year was to release 52 books this year. And when I said it, I was sincere, and I still am. But, had I known then what I know now….
I might have set the bar a little bit lower.
I wanted though to touch base. It’s been a busy first couple of months, and I’ve got several pieces of news. Firstly, the books are on track. I’ve got several draft books that I’ll be working on the proof copies of each. I’ve currently got three proof books to work through, all of which so I can release them as paperbacks. I’ve also finished Run Girl, Run, as a book, so will be establishing the site really soon and doing occasional updates there too. That site really is going to be designed around how I’m rebuilding my health ad life to manage my mental health, with the help of my hobbies and some other stuff. I want to talk about everything that goes into prepping for that book too.
Beyond that, I’m looking forward to everything that I’m working on and writing – mostly because I’ve got my new writing space! I shared a video on my Facebook, which I’ve attached here, but I’ll be setting more and more up – we’re talking about getting some bonsai trees for the desk for me too, so that’s going to be wonderful.
Books coming up
So, I’m excited to announce the next set of books that I’ve got coming out. These aren’t all of them, and the backlist books aren’t a specific date.
Memento Mori – proofing
Glass block – print proofing
10 hour Marketing Plan – proofing
12×12 – free book, social media support tutorials.
The Vivarium – a free story set in Darkness PD
A House at War has been postponed
Starfall’s Edge – by the end of the month
The Endless lake (Starfall’s Edge book 2) March 13th
Of all the books though, I’ve already got Cry Havoc up and out. If it’s not linked, please check out BooksbyKai, there will be news on there, or the newsletter.
Alongside all of this, I’m studying, I’m improving my my mindset and more. But with the new space I have, I think I can do it all. I know I can. I’ll still be hosting and working on formatting and more still, but I’m slowly shifting to doing more stuff.
And then there’s the new stuff.
I’ve been asked to really focus on some stuff that I wanted to do, or I’ve been challenged to do. So I’ll be writing about that next, on Thursday, on BooksbyKai. BooksbyKai is also where AuthorInterrupted now lives, so if you’ve been looking for those old posts recently, it’s there.
It’s been a weird week at Casa Wilson-Viola. It started on Monday morning, waking up with THE worst cold, and wanting to get so much done, and then….getting a call about my blood tests from the Friday before. Turns out I’m incredibly anemic again, so I was right about that. And while that wasn’t a surprise, what came next kinda did.
I don’t know enough about anemia to actually talk about it properly, I just know what I know. And what I think might be going on, but I’m still waiting for some outstanding blood tests. That was why what came next was a bit…’what?’. So. I’m not just one type of anemic, I’m two. It could be that I’m actually only one, but I’ve got one version that’s different from the last time, that causes the second one, or if I’m actually two. So. Monday was the ‘omg, your iron count is really low’ anemia conversation. The last time I had it, I was two points lower than I am now, and went for infusions in January 2022. So, tests were arranged for once I shifted my cold, and that was that. Tuesday though, I got a text asking me to pick up some supplements from my pharmacy. I didn’t really get to talk to the doctor this time, but when I read ‘B12 and folate deficiency’, I started researching. Mostly because I wanted to work out what was ‘different’ this time, and whether it also explained the reason I asked (turns out, it doesn’t). I’ll talk about that a bit later, cause this week has been a bit of a pivot for me, without actually changing the general plans I had. You can be one type of anemic without the other, but this time I’m both. I’m unsure where that leaves me, and won’t know till I talk to my doctor about the tests and what my next steps are. For now, though, I wanted to share the after…
This week has been a perspective change…
I was talking to a friend about the things I was changing to get ‘better’, which added time to my day that I’d been clearing down for writing, but she raised something that led me to the idea that I wanted to share.
I’d been talking about how it kinda made sense that my motivation wasn’t there, why I was foggy and tired all the time, and I said that before, I’d have laid down and postponed stuff. Given in for now. But, the last week was basically ‘ok, so what do I do?’. Part of it is deciding that happiness is something I work for. Another part is that giving in…it’s not something I want to keep doing, and honestly? I can stay in bed and write. So, that’s where happiness is and isn’t something we earn comes from with me. Happiness is something you can work towards, by achieving goals, and it’s the type I’m cussed on right now I guess, but you can also stumble into it too.
Especially if your balance is anything like mine right now.
This week is a big one for me – I’ve got books to announce, projects to signpost and more, so don’t be surprised if there’s more posts than usual appearing, and if you’ve got questions about the dietary stuff, hold them? I’m writing that up next 😉
Things have dramatically changed for me here in the last four weeks. As a bit of a recap, I thought I’d share why. In June, I decided that I didn’t want to keep going the way I was, and, as people kept asking, I was going to launch a coaching project. And while there had been a lot of interest in private, in public, people were just…less engaged I guess. And that’s ok – with everything going on in the world, it might not just be the right time for it, but it left me feeling less than stellar, if I am honest.
Tempus and I have been talking for a while now and one of the things I had observed is it’s hard for me to care full time for myself, my daughter and the house and run my business, let alone write, which I’d barely had any time for. Tempus, who is my beloved other half came down with Covid a couple of weeks ago, and as he recovered, one of the things he said to me was that I could consider just stopping for a bit… he’d support my writing.
I run businesses, but I do it to write…
Ultimately, while I run a hosting, coding and formatting service, and planned to teach coaching classes, but I do it all – all of it – in aid of my family, and books. I’ve always thought of myself as an author, though I am really quite good at other stuff, apparently. And I’m very lucky – I get to do a lot of fun stuff. But…
The honest truth of all of this is as my daughter has grown older, although she manages college, there are other things, like me, that she finds very stressful, and unfortunately, as an adult, she is encountering them more and more. I’ve often got to support her, which is absolutely ok, but it has meant that I’ve got less time to do other stuff, and, as I have mental health issues too, something had to give. And it did. Luckily, the ‘give’ was a choice, rather than what I know other people often face, so now, I just…change direction. It’s not as easy as it sounds, and over the coming weeks, I’ll be explaining why.
At the end of the day, I’m lucky
While this isn’t how some people experience this kind of push, I am effectively now a part time looking after the house, and part time writing. Which is both exciting and scary. And I thought I’d be talking to you guys about it as we go, because, quite honestly, I think some of the advice will be useful – I hope – to other people. The next few weeks and months are going to be incredibly exciting for me – and I hope, for you guys following along. It does mean I get less time to play with code and other stuff, but honestly? I’ll happily trade that off, for now, to get to support my daughter, look after our house, and best of all, write. That adventure starts fully on October 1st, though I’ve been doing prep all month for it, around CV19, and other illnesses. ANd I’ve got some interesting stuff to show off, already. That’s coming up on Thursday 😉
I kinda feel like I’m watching a flashing cursor sometimes right now. As I said in my last post though, Tempus is talking about giving me space to do something to make me happy. And honestly? it’s been a bit of a shock. And a bit of a weird thing to start organizing.
And it’s a LOT like starting at a blinking cursor. A blank document. But it’s full of hope, if I’m honest. Blank is scary, but blank also means endless – or nearly endless – possibilities.
First tentative steps
I’m not stepping away completely from my business – after all, I’ve run a hosting company and written before. I’m also not stopping formatting books, as it makes no sense to. But I am stopping the plans I had for coaching and teaching. I’ll be running a 30 day writing challenge from the 30th September, and I’m looking at what I can do to write and set myself up.
It’s not easy choices, if I’m honest – so this week really is about consolidating and working out what to do. Pivoting back to writing isn’t as easy as going ‘yus, writing time!’. I’ve still got commitments to clients, but I don’t think I’ll be taking on new ones for a while. I want to take this opportunity – it would be entirely ungrateful to do otherwise.
I do very much feel like I’m rebooting my computer inside my head though. And maybe even doing a little bit of a clean install – removing some of the stuff I don’t need right now. It isn’t the easiest of things, if I’m honest, but, I am really lucky. I’ve got this opportunity, and I don’t want to waste it. I am, thinking hard, in short.
So…what do you guys think? What should I do? I’m looking at books and trying to decide what to write, but for now, I’ll be working on my backlist and thinking.
I’m in a bit of an odd, vulnerable place right not. And it’s been going on for about three months. Because I literally started writing this post in June of this year. And stopped.
I don’t know how to put into words how hard the last few months have been, if I’m honest. It’s been a rollercoaster of trying to work out what to do and how to do it, and if I’m entirely honest, it’s been painful and unpleasant and just not fun. A lot of it too has to do with stuff not really in my control. I am disabled and care for someone disabled, and the last few years have seen that ‘commitment’ as it were, rise and rise. The more time I put into getting better, it seems the more time I need.
In June, things really started to slip. I wasn’t in a fully regular routine and with summer just around the corner, all my grand plans for getting help and getting stuff done(TM) were shattered when various things happened. Fast forward three months, last week, and everything just… collapsed in a spectacular fashion.
There is a light at the end of that tunnel
This week, we’ve had a house full of sick people – my beloved caught Covid (he dodged it, somehow when we had it, but we think we picked it up at Alton Towers as a few days after our day there, he was so ill that, completely unlike him, he took to bed for most of the day from Saturday till this morning. He’s much better now, to my intense relief), and we’re slowly sliding back into a routine of sorts. But on Tuesday, after he’d thought about stuff I’d been saying I guess, he told me that he wants me to just focus on writing for a bit. To stop trying to fight against ‘the tide’ because though I was trying something big and bold, the public encouragement was there, but in private, more people wanted ‘a free slot if everyone else was paying’ than the people actually choosing to engage with the plans themselves. Months of work on designing a coaching project aside, the discouragement I felt – and if I’m honest still feel – became so palpable, that I … I spiraled completely.
My beloved to the rescue…!
Tuesday night, I’d had a rough day (plague house, shingles break out for me, cold-sores starting, the works), and I went up to bed and I said to him ‘I can’t do it’ and he said ‘k. Tell me what’s in your way?’ And I told him. About how people want to do it but don’t seem to be signing up, about how it feels like the wrong time to be asking people to commit to coaching in this environment, how most of all, it’s not easy to teach people mindfulness, abundance and accountability when I’m not a reflection of it myself. He went very quiet and said.
“I think it’s because you’re not writing. How about you stop and do that for a bit.” I told him that the business wouldn’t survive if I didn’t get this to work, and he said “We’ll make it work. Trust me.” And that was it.
I’m not saying it’s not going to be painful, but, he’s right. I wished for a way to afford to write again, and it’s not the one I’d have chosen, but I am grateful that he’s willing to back me until I’ve got that bit of my life square again.
It’s still taken a couple of days to write this. I’m still dealing with a shame spiral I CANNOT fathom, because I feel like, once again, I’m letting people down. But at the same time, I’m actually willing to look at my laptop again. I’m sad because I won’t get to earn my Remarkable the way I wanted to, but…I don’t need one to write. There’s a lightness of heart to go with the ‘oh, I don’t like this’ failure feeling.
So….yeah…that’s been my last three months. What about you guys?
(actually, one notable exception. Ludosport. I’ll talk about that next blog post).
Looking forward to those recipes.