The blog of D Kai Wilson-Viola

Author, advocate, designer, mental health advocate and parent. 

Health updates – I’m…several types of anemic, here’s what I’m doing ;)

Health updates – I’m…several types of anemic, here’s what I’m doing ;)

I don’t often post about food on here, nor specific health stuff. I don’t want to be giving advice without making sure all the edges and ramifications are covered. So, disclaimer, what I’m talking about is what I’ve decided to try for me until I can talk to my GP and firm it all up.

I’d also like to ask that if you do comment, you don’t go after me for doing stuff this way, nor give me advice that sells me something. I’m not interested. If you’ve got genuine advice, and it would be something that I need to ask about, I’m happy to follow up, but, please don’t go full on with me, I’ve had a week of it already, and I’m not really keen on either approving a comment which could endanger others, nor take advice motivated simply by shilling, so please don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind well meaning advice, but if you say anything about certain things, I won’t approve your comment.

Dietary changes ahead…

So, after the iron conversation on Monday, I started looking into everything I could do. I’d sorta already landed on bone broth a few times in my research and brushed up against it again, but I had the week to plan it, as we do groceries on Friday. A conversation with my butcher later, and I got some lamb bones, and got the rest of the stuff I needed on Friday, so that was fine. (Yes, I’m aware that you can buy bone broth, I’m just not sure I want to, given the cost of living right now). Nutritional yeast and other stuff have also been grabbed, and that’s where I am right now. Waiting for more blood tests, I’ve now started adventures cooking my own bone broth. Which I’ll share once I’ve perfected it, but I cooked it yesterday, it’s all brilliant in the fridge for the stuff I needed for today (and either tonight or tomorrow, cause honestly, it’s SO tasty. I’m a bit surprised off the back of the first attempt to be honest. I’m not a vegetarian, but… I dunno, I wasn’t sure about dealing with bones. Nor the processes. (yesterday was a bit of a fun time. Blanche, roast, then pressure cook the bones, and though I’ve got 6lbs of bones, I’ve only used 2lb so far, so there was some to freeze after roasting, then cool, skim…there’s a lot about the process I think I need to perfect, but honestly? Around all of it, I could stick the stuff in to roast while making dough for bread, pressure cook it, keep the bread going and just spend a day in the kitchen making. And my Instant Pot made it so much easier.

Recipe coming later, but I figured I should talk about it a little bit more, and in depth in a place off my social media, because I think there’s going to be a lot about being anemic and treatments and how the NHS are saving my butt again coming up. And how it’s not going to slow me down.

It’s just a learning experience.

Happiness isn’t earned, but then again, it is… #MondayBlogs

Happiness isn’t earned, but then again, it is… #MondayBlogs

It’s been a weird week at Casa Wilson-Viola. It started on Monday morning, waking up with THE worst cold, and wanting to get so much done, and then….getting a call about my blood tests from the Friday before. Turns out I’m incredibly anemic again, so I was right about that. And while that wasn’t a surprise, what came next kinda did.

I don’t know enough about anemia to actually talk about it properly, I just know what I know. And what I think might be going on, but I’m still waiting for some outstanding blood tests. That was why what came next was a bit…’what?’.
So. I’m not just one type of anemic, I’m two. It could be that I’m actually only one, but I’ve got one version that’s different from the last time, that causes the second one, or if I’m actually two. So. Monday was the ‘omg, your iron count is really low’ anemia conversation. The last time I had it, I was two points lower than I am now, and went for infusions in January 2022. So, tests were arranged for once I shifted my cold, and that was that.
Tuesday though, I got a text asking me to pick up some supplements from my pharmacy. I didn’t really get to talk to the doctor this time, but when I read ‘B12 and folate deficiency’, I started researching. Mostly because I wanted to work out what was ‘different’ this time, and whether it also explained the reason I asked (turns out, it doesn’t). I’ll talk about that a bit later, cause this week has been a bit of a pivot for me, without actually changing the general plans I had.
You can be one type of anemic without the other, but this time I’m both. I’m unsure where that leaves me, and won’t know till I talk to my doctor about the tests and what my next steps are. For now, though, I wanted to share the after…

This week has been a perspective change…

I was talking to a friend about the things I was changing to get ‘better’, which added time to my day that I’d been clearing down for writing, but she raised something that led me to the idea that I wanted to share.

I’d been talking about how it kinda made sense that my motivation wasn’t there, why I was foggy and tired all the time, and I said that before, I’d have laid down and postponed stuff. Given in for now. But, the last week was basically ‘ok, so what do I do?’.
Part of it is deciding that happiness is something I work for. Another part is that giving in…it’s not something I want to keep doing, and honestly? I can stay in bed and write.
So, that’s where happiness is and isn’t something we earn comes from with me. Happiness is something you can work towards, by achieving goals, and it’s the type I’m cussed on right now I guess, but you can also stumble into it too.

Especially if your balance is anything like mine right now.

This week is a big one for me – I’ve got books to announce, projects to signpost and more, so don’t be surprised if there’s more posts than usual appearing, and if you’ve got questions about the dietary stuff, hold them? I’m writing that up next 😉

Working hard, playing less #Mondayblogs

Working hard, playing less #Mondayblogs

Things have dramatically changed for me here in the last four weeks. As a bit of a recap, I thought I’d share why.
In June, I decided that I didn’t want to keep going the way I was, and, as people kept asking, I was going to launch a coaching project. And while there had been a lot of interest in private, in public, people were just…less engaged I guess. And that’s ok – with everything going on in the world, it might not just be the right time for it, but it left me feeling less than stellar, if I am honest.

Tempus and I have been talking for a while now and one of the things I had observed is it’s hard for me to care full time for myself, my daughter and the house and run my business, let alone write, which I’d barely had any time for. Tempus, who is my beloved other half came down with Covid a couple of weeks ago, and as he recovered, one of the things he said to me was that I could consider just stopping for a bit… he’d support my writing.

I run businesses, but I do it to write…

Ultimately, while I run a hosting, coding and formatting service, and planned to teach coaching classes, but I do it all – all of it – in aid of my family, and books. I’ve always thought of myself as an author, though I am really quite good at other stuff, apparently. And I’m very lucky – I get to do a lot of fun stuff. But…

The honest truth of all of this is as my daughter has grown older, although she manages college, there are other things, like me, that she finds very stressful, and unfortunately, as an adult, she is encountering them more and more. I’ve often got to support her, which is absolutely ok, but it has meant that I’ve got less time to do other stuff, and, as I have mental health issues too, something had to give. And it did. Luckily, the ‘give’ was a choice, rather than what I know other people often face, so now, I just…change direction.
It’s not as easy as it sounds, and over the coming weeks, I’ll be explaining why.

At the end of the day, I’m lucky

While this isn’t how some people experience this kind of push, I am effectively now a part time looking after the house, and part time writing. Which is both exciting and scary. And I thought I’d be talking to you guys about it as we go, because, quite honestly, I think some of the advice will be useful – I hope – to other people.
The next few weeks and months are going to be incredibly exciting for me – and I hope, for you guys following along. It does mean I get less time to play with code and other stuff, but honestly? I’ll happily trade that off, for now, to get to support my daughter, look after our house, and best of all, write.
That adventure starts fully on October 1st, though I’ve been doing prep all month for it, around CV19, and other illnesses. ANd I’ve got some interesting stuff to show off, already. That’s coming up on Thursday 😉

Rebooting… #Mondayblogs #rungirlrun

Rebooting… #Mondayblogs #rungirlrun

I kinda feel like I’m watching a flashing cursor sometimes right now. As I said in my last post though, Tempus is talking about giving me space to do something to make me happy.
And honestly? it’s been a bit of a shock. And a bit of a weird thing to start organizing.

And it’s a LOT like starting at a blinking cursor. A blank document.
But it’s full of hope, if I’m honest. Blank is scary, but blank also means endless – or nearly endless – possibilities.

First tentative steps

I’m not stepping away completely from my business – after all, I’ve run a hosting company and written before. I’m also not stopping formatting books, as it makes no sense to. But I am stopping the plans I had for coaching and teaching. I’ll be running a 30 day writing challenge from the 30th September, and I’m looking at what I can do to write and set myself up.

It’s not easy choices, if I’m honest – so this week really is about consolidating and working out what to do. Pivoting back to writing isn’t as easy as going ‘yus, writing time!’. I’ve still got commitments to clients, but I don’t think I’ll be taking on new ones for a while. I want to take this opportunity – it would be entirely ungrateful to do otherwise.

Rebooting…

I do very much feel like I’m rebooting my computer inside my head though. And maybe even doing a little bit of a clean install – removing some of the stuff I don’t need right now. It isn’t the easiest of things, if I’m honest, but, I am really lucky. I’ve got this opportunity, and I don’t want to waste it.
I am, thinking hard, in short.

So…what do you guys think? What should I do? I’m looking at books and trying to decide what to write, but for now, I’ll be working on my backlist and thinking.

Broken, busted, depressed #mondayblogs – Losing hope, briefly

Broken, busted, depressed #mondayblogs – Losing hope, briefly

I’m in a bit of an odd, vulnerable place right not.
And it’s been going on for about three months. Because I literally started writing this post in June of this year. And stopped.

Everything.

Broken, busted…

I don’t know how to put into words how hard the last few months have been, if I’m honest. It’s been a rollercoaster of trying to work out what to do and how to do it, and if I’m entirely honest, it’s been painful and unpleasant and just not fun.
A lot of it too has to do with stuff not really in my control. I am disabled and care for someone disabled, and the last few years have seen that ‘commitment’ as it were, rise and rise. The more time I put into getting better, it seems the more time I need.

In June, things really started to slip. I wasn’t in a fully regular routine and with summer just around the corner, all my grand plans for getting help and getting stuff done(TM) were shattered when various things happened.
Fast forward three months, last week, and everything just… collapsed in a spectacular fashion.

There is a light at the end of that tunnel

This week, we’ve had a house full of sick people – my beloved caught Covid (he dodged it, somehow when we had it, but we think we picked it up at Alton Towers as a few days after our day there, he was so ill that, completely unlike him, he took to bed for most of the day from Saturday till this morning. He’s much better now, to my intense relief), and we’re slowly sliding back into a routine of sorts. But on Tuesday, after he’d thought about stuff I’d been saying I guess, he told me that he wants me to just focus on writing for a bit. To stop trying to fight against ‘the tide’ because though I was trying something big and bold, the public encouragement was there, but in private, more people wanted ‘a free slot if everyone else was paying’ than the people actually choosing to engage with the plans themselves. Months of work on designing a coaching project aside, the discouragement I felt – and if I’m honest still feel – became so palpable, that I … I spiraled completely.

My beloved to the rescue…!

Tuesday night, I’d had a rough day (plague house, shingles break out for me, cold-sores starting, the works), and I went up to bed and I said to him ‘I can’t do it’ and he said ‘k. Tell me what’s in your way?’ And I told him. About how people want to do it but don’t seem to be signing up, about how it feels like the wrong time to be asking people to commit to coaching in this environment, how most of all, it’s not easy to teach people mindfulness, abundance and accountability when I’m not a reflection of it myself. He went very quiet and said.

“I think it’s because you’re not writing. How about you stop and do that for a bit.”
I told him that the business wouldn’t survive if I didn’t get this to work, and he said “We’ll make it work. Trust me.”
And that was it.

I’m not saying it’s not going to be painful, but, he’s right. I wished for a way to afford to write again, and it’s not the one I’d have chosen, but I am grateful that he’s willing to back me until I’ve got that bit of my life square again.

It’s still taken a couple of days to write this. I’m still dealing with a shame spiral I CANNOT fathom, because I feel like, once again, I’m letting people down. But at the same time, I’m actually willing to look at my laptop again. I’m sad because I won’t get to earn my Remarkable the way I wanted to, but…I don’t need one to write.
There’s a lightness of heart to go with the ‘oh, I don’t like this’ failure feeling.

So….yeah…that’s been my last three months. What about you guys?

(actually, one notable exception. Ludosport. I’ll talk about that next blog post).