The blog of D Kai Wilson-Viola

Author, advocate, designer, mental health advocate and parent. 

B is for Books – Walking off the earth #Finalchapterinthisbook #newbook #atozchallenge

About me....

Latest posts

Latest comments

Archives...

B is for Books – Walking off the earth #Finalchapterinthisbook #newbook #atozchallenge

Apr 2, 2021 | A day in the life, Announcements, AtoZ challenge 2021, Books, Mental health, Organisation, Reading and Reviewing, Writing | 2 comments

I’ve had many ‘this is my hardest’s to deal with – probably more than anyone my age has any right to deal with in some ways.  But this one hit the hardest about three days ago, and I thought there was going to be a bit of give, a bit of wriggle room, but no.  I finally encountered the words that just broke me in two.  And I won’t repeat them.  I’ve deleted them.  But I came to a screeching halt, and I’m not sure how things will change, but change they absolutely will.  

But first – I have a heck of a lot of grieving and coming to terms with things to do – and I need to build an actual, sensible plan to sustain my businesses.  And I have to accept that part of that is digging out my work ethic and dealing with everything that’s gone on lately and putting things right. And I’ve come to the conclusion that to do that, this book needs to end.  This story, no matter that it’s not a happily ever after needs to become something that we relegate to the ‘not touching’ drawer.  Not everything that’s happened – no, they’re elements that can be reused.  But the tale of the sad girl that lives inside her house and does nothing…that’s a bust.  That’s so much of a bust we’re not making it past the first draft.

I’m not ashamed but…

When you’re where I am, you’re not *supposed* to admit bullying gets to you.  I’m the moderator of one of the biggest indie communities on Facebook, I run a lot of things for a lot of different people and I find myself, daily, waking up and dreading the comments that appear here, and on the other blogs, I run.  In my inbox, on Twitter, by PM on Facebook. And, in with that realisation is that I’m as unkind to myself as all of these people.  My self-talk is terrible.  I’d rather sleep (or try to) than work.  And I hate admitting that, but my sleep is disturbed again, and it’s getting difficult to do *much* of anything.

I do have one ray of light though, beyond my family, who are just the best, and my friends, who equally rock, and that’s my books. I’ll be talking about them more naturally in the coming days, but for now, I just wanted to thank anyone that’s supported me as a writer. I don’t always get to write, but it is one of my few places of solace. And if I’m walking off this earth to another, I couldn’t do it without knowing that I was writing the story as I went.

Today’s other AtoZ’s on the blogs I take part on.

Books by Kai – Black Monday
Fiction by Kai – the Knight of Coins
Bi-polar bears – Being, not doing
These our Fandoms – a quick skimmer onto the things in Battle Ground by Jim Butcher.

Oh, if you want to keep track of all my posts in one place, I set up a syndicated blog again. It’ll have everything in it, eventually, though it does take a few hours to catch up with stuff!
See you tomorrow!

2 Comments

  1. AJ Blythe

    Wow, how do you manage so many blogs? I’m sorry to hear life has been tough lately and I hope it has improved now. But I totally hear you on not being kind to yourself – I suffer from that as well. I sometimes wonder why it is so easy to be kind to others but not yourself?

    Visiting from A to Z… AJ Blythe

    Reply
    • Kai

      Managing all of the blogs I do is partially to do with planning, and partially to do with syndicating across from different blogs. 🙂 The rest of it is that I can write blog posts in about 15 minutes – it takes me longer to put together graphics and stuff.
      Life has been wierd and tough, but I’m not writing fiction, so I write blogs 🙂
      As for being kind to others versus ourselves, it’s something I don’t know how to answer – I know it’s quite common though. It’s so difficult to put ourselves first, I guess.
      If it helps, I’m telling you to take care of yourself 🙂 *hugs*
      Thanks for the visit.

      Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

Working hard, playing less #Mondayblogs

Things have dramatically changed for me here in the last four weeks. As a bit of a recap, I thought I'd share why.In June, I decided that I didn't want to keep going the way I was, and, as people kept asking, I was going to launch a coaching project. And while there...

Rebooting… #Mondayblogs #rungirlrun

I kinda feel like I'm watching a flashing cursor sometimes right now. As I said in my last post though, Tempus is talking about giving me space to do something to make me happy. And honestly? it's been a bit of a shock. And a bit of a weird thing to start organizing....

New stuff…a new design, backlist announcements and more! #mondayblogs

Firstly, I've redesigned my blog. I'd love to hear what people think of it, and if you'd like to see anything.I'll be connecting up more of my blogs as time goes on, but for the time being, and I'd love it if you sign up to my newsletter. I'm also delighted to...

The Covidcoaster – a week of ill #Mondayblogs #rungirlrun #kaiatus #Bloggingfromatoz

Last Monday, I posted about how myself and my youngest tested positive for CV19. Monday/Tuesday, I started getting really sick. Monday, I'd been quite cheerful - after all, Artenapan, my daughter, had had three days of a cough and little else. That's not how it played...