Well…B is for a lot of things actually. I’ll be doing ‘B is for Books’ over at AlexandriaPublishingGroup later today, but for now I wanted to touch on the books, and some other stuff that B is for.
In our house, B is for something we just can’t have yet. Not because we can’t afford it, or because we don’t want one – in fact, as long as I remain fairly successful as a freelancer, money really isn’t a problem, neither will be taking maternity leave.
And there, with that one word, you’ll know that I’m talking about babies. I’ll be doing a full post on it in ‘I is for infertility’, but I prefer the sound of babies to ‘infertility’, so there you go.
As I’m talking about this on my mostly personal blog, I’m going to say only this – it’s been one of the toughest things I’ve had to deal with in our relationship, so when Kushka died earlier last month, I think it just all got to me – not that I’d have grieved less if we’d had a baby – but she WAS our baby in many ways. And yep, we’ve got a pair of kitten(ish) cats now, who are slowly settling right in, but I’d still give anything to have my girl back. Even though I love the two new ones, Kush really was one in a billion.
But, we move on. Humans perceive time in odd ways – and I still cry looking at the photos, but there’s two new bundles of fun to snuggle, and I’m sure, given how spoiled and loved they are, adding a baby to that mix, if we ever manage it is going to be fine.
So, I can’t have babies right now – it’s not the end of the world, right? Well, no, actually in some ways it really is. I feel like a failure – not that we can’t conceive (oh, look, c is for knocked up), but because we can. My body just has a conniption, gives me all of the fun stuff that early pregnancy has – exhaustion, nausea, throwing up, peeing like there’s no tomorrow, then, after about a week, if I’m lucky, I lose it.
If that weren’t traumatic enough, it’s my other half’s first baby. I have two children from a previous relationship, but wouldn’t you know, I’ve been in this one for nine years (twice as long as my relationship with the father of my children).
And also for…
B is also for Iain Banks – he and Dan Abbnett told me (separately, but in the same month) that if I didn’t write, it would be a crime, or sentiments to that effect – having lost several greats this year already (James Herbert, Dave Silva and Rick Hautala) I’m really beginning to feel like I should be publishing, and be dammed with the rest of the stuff that occupies my life. I was 17 when they told me, half a lifetime ago.
B is for Bah.
B is for bombtastic
Bit of a spoiler here, sorry guys, but after Glass Block launches (I hope on Friday), there will be some A-Z challenge posts appearing on DarknessPD. Items like E is for Elliot, M is for Morrigan, C is for Clones and B is for…well….bomb blasts.
🙂 Ain’t I a stinker?
B is for Blogging
I’ve been asked what it is about me and blogs. I guess I’m not very good at explaining that, but I love keeping blogs. I mean…almost as much as I love reading and writing. I’m trying to rework my blogs though, so that they’re more regularly updated – alongside B is for Blogs, be is also for Bi-polarbears, the mental health advocate site I run which was 10 last month.
B is for Books. I love books. Almost as much as I love my cats. I’m an avid reader – I’ve got a lovely Kindle, and an Ipad so I can read no matter what, and it’s something I really miss. I was going to start a film review blog later in the month, but i may add recommended book reviews to that too. Not that I’ll review books, but that I’ll recommend books with a review, on my terms :).
Kai is a writer, author and avid reader. A mental health advocate, Ludosport athlete and coder. She’s the mother of two young adults, owned by two cats, and lives with her beloved in the Cotswolds.