The blog of D Kai Wilson-Viola

Author, advocate, designer, mental health advocate and parent. 

My single strand

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  1. Yup. I had... Other stuff also happen that I try not to talk about- mostly I like to be clear…


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Chris Brogan spoke about this yesterday, quite serendipitously, but I’ve been thinking about it – a lot – myself lately.  What’s the core of my being.  When I remove everything from around me that isn’t dependent on relationships, isn’t dependant on circumstance and isn’t dependant on expectation, what’s left for me?  And only me?

Removing ‘stuff’ first 

The single strand at the centre of my being isn’t my kids.  They are my world, but they don’t define me.  Just like I don’t define them.  Similarly, my relationships aren’t the single strand at the centre of me, though they are very important, and if we were looking at weaving something from the bits in the middle of me, they’d be one of the foundation threads.  I can’t do what I do without the support of the people around me.  But, if we’re looking at single strands, as defined by Chris, then it’s something internal, not external.

At first…
At first I thought it was blogging – after all – that’s who I am.  I blog.  Except, it’s not.  Not any more.  I spend more time copywriting than blogging writing by a factor of about ten to one.   It’s still a core of my  being, but it’s not *the* core.  It’s not the element at the center of me, as much as I wish it was.
And then, I looked into whether it was copywriting –  it’s my job and I’m very passionate about it – but again, that’s not me.  I kinda feel like a cat with a ball of string – I grapple with it, but I couldn’t see myself doing it as the only writing thing ever.  And while both fulfil a lot of the time I spend online, they’re not the only thing I do.

More recent developments

I’ve started editing – which makes me an editor officially now.  I’m about to finish my second contract (probably today or tomorrow) officially, and I’ve edited for places like Scribe and Quill and other sites for years now.   But again, it feels kinda like my job, not my career – not to mention, to make sure that I help people with their books, my prices are tiny right now. I still love it, but it’s not something that I’m entirely interested in doing for the rest of my life.
I’m passionate about many things – mental health being key among them – WordPress being another one.   It’s important to be passionate, but passion, those passions, aren’t my core.  They colour what I do though, and that’s cool.


So, is my single strand my hobbies?  Photography?  Knitting?  Cross Stitch?  Gaming?  But, if I go into those, when I find that I’m bored of them, or I’ve perfected them, or I can’t ‘do’ them for any reason, then that might mean that I give in and have no single strand.

And that, your honor, is when we uncovered the vital evidence

Writing is at the core of almost everything I do.  Even coding when you look at it is writing of some description – but my passion – at the core of my being is writing.  Be it fiction or non fiction, I’m passionate about *books* and linguistics, and writing and … and… and…

My single strand isn’t so much a strand – it’s a sentence.
I am a writer.


  1. Koreen

    I came by because I saw you on Twitter, but I didn’t expect to find inspiration. This is a great activity and I think you pinned it down perfectly. Our core isn’t the people around us, but that single thing which drives us. It was such a pleasure to get to know you this morning.

  2. Katie-Anne

    I think that to be able to know yourself down to a strand is a huge thing. I just feel like the rats nest of leftover wool and embroidery floss left in the bottom of my craft project bag!

    • Kai

      LOL. I didn’t say it wasn’t knotted back on itself, and snapped in places, and duplicating like nothing on earth 😉


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P is for Psychosis #realmentalhealth #mondayblogs #nomorestigma

This is one of my harder blog posts to write, because though I talk – a lot – about the impact my mental health has on my day to day life, and has done for a while, I’m pretty sure that this is the bit no one really understands, causes the most…misunderstanding and I hope, because I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, they can’t relate to. If you didn’t know that psychosis was a feature of my mental health diagnosis, or didn’t understand if you’d heard it mentioned before now, please…don’t start changing your opinion of me. That’s the biggest reason those of us with serious mental health issues aren’t as open as society needs. Because we lose people.