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Author, advocate, designer, mental health advocate and parent. 

I needs me a better job

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I needs me a better job

Jul 6, 2011 | content | 1 comment

Actually, I don’t – I needs me a bit more organisation, to make my job better.

At the moment, I get up at 7:30am, deal with the kidlets, and if I know I’m going out, I shower, get dressed (into clothes I’ve laid out the night before if I’m super organised) and sometimes walk his lordship to school.  I do my stuff in town or over in Cheltenham, and head back (though, right now I’m not keen on leaving the house.  Don’t know why but I’m forcing myself to go further out of my comfort zone so that should be fixed in plenty of time to go to London or travel on my own (with the kids but also on my own on the way back) n the 28th.

I do some chores around the house, because I can’t settle to writing when I get up.  Conversely, unless I do something low tech before going up to bed, I struggle with falling asleep too, so it’s something I’m working on.
And then I spend anywhere between 4 and 12 hours writing, depending on workload.  I edit and blog too .  I’m looking right now, at a mountain of my own edit – it’s one I can’t send out for a professional edit because it’s my dissertation and that’s just not allowed.  It’ll be done in 15 days though.  2 weeks tomorrow I hand it in.  I’m crapping myself.

The problem I’m seeing with my ‘job’ though is that I’ve got other stuff that I have to shoehorn in.  I don’t like the idea of having to precisely map out how much time I spend with friends – and I don’t like that I’m already gearing up because I’m having less time over the summer to do ‘stuff’ and there’s no room for it.  And it’s mostly down to disorganisation.

There, I said it.  I’m disorganised.  I flit from job to job without a care in the world, and I could do so much better – and get more done.  I already fit work that takes ‘average people’ (going by rescuetime/various writer’s sites) a lot more time, and enjoy it.  I can, if I put my mind to it, write around 3k in an hour.  I have to be really desperate to write, but I can. (at 803 words in 11 minutes this morning!)

My other problem is the overwhelming amount of tech at my fingertips.  It’s not ‘normal’ to be able to read and knit at the same time, but with the kindle, I can. (I used to be able to multitask like a pro – I’m slowly getting back there, other than my attention span, since I fell in 2007 – anyone that says head injuries without loss of consciousness aren’t horrible are liars.  I did myself serious damage – I’m also not entirely sure I didn’t lose consciousness, kinda, because I can’t remember the fall.  I also don’t remember being picked up, but my beloved swears blind that I fell onto my back.  Which means I might have done myself more damage than I thought).

So.  I’ve got four days of limited access at the end of this month.  And then another four the weekend after.  I won’t be online for work between the 4th and 9th of August, because I’ll be packing for my holiday, enjoying my holiday and getting back from my holiday.  it’s right smack bang in the middle of the time away from the kids too, so it’s good.

I’m also a full-time house momma.  And that’s where the biggest problem now comes in.  I’m not doing regular chores, and that bothers me.  I’ve tried Flylady (and didn’t enjoy it) and I think, in part it’s because I’m very independent and don’t like being told how to live my life.  I’ve never responded well to limitations and not being allowed to do the things I want to do.  When I modify my life, I’ve actually thought about it – even if it’s a split second though, I do actually go though considering stuff, and reconcile it with how I process internally.  Unexpected stuff throws me, which is why I can’t stand being involved in groups where people are childish or difficult to work with.  I’m already pretty inflexible, and I’d say, sometimes, childlike in how I deal with the world.  It’s not an aspect of my bipolar, it’s just who I am.  I’m also mostly incredibly literal for someone that messes with language the way I do. it’s probably the forensic linguist in me.

Anyway, the point with this is my life is too hectic.  There’s no room for new stuff without dropping other stuff, and I don’t like that.  So.  Though I’ve merged down here, and should get to blog more often, it’s still going to be erratic for a while.  Not deliberately, but more because my technology isn’t at the point that I need it to be.  Roll on Os5, but I betcha before then I work it out.  It’s only taken me…what, nearly ten years?
in all seriousness, the ‘new me’ starts straight after the first holiday.  I’m planning some crazy, but valuable stuff.  I’d love it if people could come along for the wild ride 😉

1 Comment

  1. Bonnie Rice

    You need to stop being so hard on yourself–you do more in one day than most people do in a month and then wonder why you’re exhausted. You need to step back, set some priorities, let some stuff go, and start paying attention to what IS working for you instead of what ISN’T.

    Flitting from one task to anther may not work for everyone, but women multi-task much better than men do and for some of us creative types, having other things to work on while we are taking a break or thinking about the first things WORKS. If we had to do one thing until we finished it, we’d probably never get that one thing done–especially the creative or mentally challenging stuff–and we wouldn’t get anything else done either.

    I taught home organization in a previous life and I know what I’m talking about–write down the things that you absolutely HAVE to finish today and make a point of going back to those things when you burn out on whatever else you are doing. You’d be surprised how often that’s all it takes to keep yourself on track.


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P is for Psychosis #realmentalhealth #mondayblogs #nomorestigma

This is one of my harder blog posts to write, because though I talk – a lot – about the impact my mental health has on my day to day life, and has done for a while, I’m pretty sure that this is the bit no one really understands, causes the most…misunderstanding and I hope, because I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, they can’t relate to. If you didn’t know that psychosis was a feature of my mental health diagnosis, or didn’t understand if you’d heard it mentioned before now, please…don’t start changing your opinion of me. That’s the biggest reason those of us with serious mental health issues aren’t as open as society needs. Because we lose people.