The blog of D Kai Wilson-Viola

Author, advocate, designer, mental health advocate and parent. 

It’s oh so quiet….

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It’s oh so quiet….

Mar 23, 2011 | content | 0 comments

Medieval illustration of a Christian scribe wr...

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It’s 1am here as I’m writing this blog post.  I’ve done 12 (count em) articles today (work, which I can’t not do), tried to settle into my dissertation and failed miserably, skipped genning up a new character for my game, because I was  failing miserably at my diss, got breifly excited because my column went up today on ProudlionComics then sunk back into the doldrums of writing this dammed dissertation.

It’s odd.  I’ve never struggled quite so much with work, until it’s due to be handed over to actually count towards my degree – I know these are the final few hand ins and instead of feeling liberated and freed from the pressures of ‘dear lord I have to actually look him in the eye after handing in this smut’ I feel….constricted, and fed back into myself.  There’s this odd loop of shame going on instead of enjoying my writing, and most of it is tame.  The one I’m writing right now is a bit wierd – it’s not the cross gender time travel one I had originally planned on handing in, in fact,  it’s something remarkably different.  And I like it, a lot, but it’s taking forever to write, simply because it’s in second person and that, of all the perspectives I could write in, is killing me.

I’m sure I’ll talk about this more over on ‘Writer – interupted‘ (, but for now, all I know is that writing is becoming increasingly more difficult and sleep is ever more elusive.

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P is for Psychosis #realmentalhealth #mondayblogs #nomorestigma

This is one of my harder blog posts to write, because though I talk – a lot – about the impact my mental health has on my day to day life, and has done for a while, I’m pretty sure that this is the bit no one really understands, causes the most…misunderstanding and I hope, because I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, they can’t relate to. If you didn’t know that psychosis was a feature of my mental health diagnosis, or didn’t understand if you’d heard it mentioned before now, please…don’t start changing your opinion of me. That’s the biggest reason those of us with serious mental health issues aren’t as open as society needs. Because we lose people.