Sitting on six rejections…

X-posted to Semiskimmedcola, Kai’s personal blog, and Kai’s livejournal You can comment on any of these posts.

Yesterday morning I got one of those ‘rude awakenings’. It’s been a slow week, the kids are home, and the cat is wheezy (she might have cat athsma - she might have an allergy to dust of all things - which is really bad in our house cause it’s constantly dusty - no matter how often I dust. So next cunning plan is to get rid of as much of the clutter as possible, so that if I need to dust, every day, I can without it taking me hours.

Yesterday though, was rough. Kinda expected, but rough. My writing, after all, seems to go in cycles like this. I get so far, I’m on the verge of ‘winning’ at the game of getting published and suddenly, everything falls apart. Two years ago (or so) I was scammed by a literary agency - this time, one book was caught by a scam (a ‘for TV book’) and six of the twelve queries I had out are now back as rejections. Two had been rejections on partials - which was really exciting, so at least it means I’m getting closer, but still, six at once was farily disheartening.

Yesterday, I was depressed. Angry even. It’s easy for people to say that we should take rejections in our stride, and I do, but I’m also only human, so I at least get one day of ill feeling.

This morning, I’ve decided that for the first time since moving, I’m not going to ‘top up’ my book queries that are out. I want to give my writing a complete overhaul, starting with writing more short stories - which, first, means reading books and making notes and ’stuff’. Mostly, I want to do something ‘nice’ for a change - I’m waaaay too obsessed with the ‘must get published’ side of things, and - for me at least - it isn’t healthy.
Publication is nice - of course, but it’s not the core reason I write. It might be later, but for now, I’ve forgotten the real reasons I write. And yes, it’s still a vocation/job. I just don’t need paid for it yet