Reflect, repent, repeat….

I’m currently sitting on my Mom’s couch - my other half and our cat is at his dad’s (cause my stepdad is allergic, and cause I’ve still got the kids till tomorrow evening) thinking about the last time I was here on my own.

It was before my tattoo (which came up in conversation today too), it was before my other half, but only just. And my world slid about eight inches sidewards weekend.
A lot of good came out of it, but I spent a lot of the drive up thinking about what I’ve done in the last 12 years. Most of it, not good, or at the very least, unremarkable.

I’m slowly coming to terms with that though too. It’s not as if everything needs to be perfect - it’s more important that the things I do at least give me room to grow.

The next two weeks, from tomorrow, are going to be the longest time I haven’t seen my kids. I’m getting photos before they leave, so I’ve got nice images of them on my laptop, and then, I’m going to drop them off with their dad, probably have a little cry, and then go visit with freinds, go see some shows at the festival, and generally decompress as best I can.

There are two theories as to why I’m not writing - one is I’m HORRIBLY sick over everything that’s gone on this year - my youngest’s problems - adopting the perfect cat, only to discover how sick she is (she’s sick, not dying) - losing my grandfather, and my great aunt this year. Other stuff that sounds really bad when I talk about it in veiled ways, and I know it isn’t, but the other stuff I’ve put behind me - that’s been long overdue for settling down, and is at last something I can stop paying attention to as much. I’ll never let my guard down, but at least I know things are sorted out now. Sorta.

The other is I’m burned out.

Both technically relate to one another, and both are solved by taking this time to do all of the things I enjoy. So.

Lots of photography. Botanical gardens one day this week, perhaps. Festival stuff. Photos. Seeing as many of my close freinds as I can (though, I’m more than aware that there are some that we just can’t see, cause of thier plans, or cause of their work). Spending time doing things that’s just me and my other half. We’re doing everything from going to the spa together for an evening, to going to see The Dark Knight at a ‘local’ IMAX.

As far as I can tell, we’re staying in Edi until Wednesday. And now…I’m off to play Guitar Hero on Tour on my DS.